Hurricane Katrina

Last night was the worst night of my life! My first night on board I ended up breaking a baby toe (combination of my clumsiness, rough seas, and rum at fault) so it has been a problem all week. I’ve been duct taping it to the next toe to try to minimize the pain. But, because of my toe, I have struggled quite a bit with the motion of the boat as I can’t really put pressure on those toes to help me balance. As a result, I’ve been stumbling around a lot with the motion of the boat (not just when I’ve had a couple drinks). I’ve got a thigh that is essentially one continuous bruise. But last night’s episode takes the cake.

We were on the move from the Bimini Islands back to Grand Bahama. It was the roughest night of the trip. I went downstairs, thinking I’d put on my waterproof gear because there was so much splash. When I got below deck, I decided to lie down and read for a bit. Very quickly, I began to feel nauseous (first time this week). I decided that I would be better off above deck. So I got up to go to the bathroom and then head up.

Now, first you have to understand that I can’t actually reach the proper floor while on the toilet. So it’s a bit of a balancing act - toes on the ledge, hand on the counter, elbow on the wall. As I was hopping down from the toilet, the boat hit some big waves and really rolled. I went flying… I bounced off the walls.. in the process I banged the back of my ankle (which had been rubbed raw by my boot/fin strap) which split open and started bleeding. I also took out the soap dispenser. It came off the wall, drenching both me and the whole “head” in soap. I let out a few profanities, tugged at some toilet paper, and groped my way to my bed… only a few short feet, and fell onto it “soap side up” with my bleeding foot hanging over the edge. I applied some pressure to my bleeding ankle for a few minutes while I tried to figure out whether to laugh or cry. I ended up doing both at once.

I thought a couple people were actually in my cabin asleep, but nobody responded to my yelling and swearing, so I hoped someone would come down the ladder that could help me. I really didn’t know what to do. I felt like vomiting, I was bleeding, and I was covered in soap. My nausea was really bad and the movement of the boat made doing anything a huge ordeal. I grabbed one of my towels (no more diving so no more need for it really) to get the worst of the soap off. I stripped off my t-shirt and threw it on the floor. I put another shirt on and decided I had better see if I had a band-aid. I had one – just one! The bleeding was still going strong so I knew I had to wait to put on the band-aid. I found my Gravol, took some, groped my way back to the head and took some more of the TP (not much of it since I knew I would need some to clean up the soapy mess) to stem the bleeding. I laid back down, putting pressure on my ankle for quite awhile, just wishing I was anywhere else but there. Eventually I decided to put the band-aid on, not caring whether I ended up getting blood all over the bedding. I was feeling so ill and it seemed like it took FOREVER for the Gravol to kick in. I didn’t think I was going to survive the rest of the trip back to Grand Bahama.

I knew I had to do something about the mess in the head, but until I was sure I wasn’t going to vomit, I wasn’t moving. Eventually I got up, picked up all the bits of the soap dispenser and used the remainder of the TP to get the worst of the soap off the floor. Forget the walls – I was mostly concerned with someone slipping and hurting themselves. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do a very good job with my limited cleaning supplies. I was told the next morning that it was like a skating rink in there!

I’d already spent the week being made fun of for my clumsiness, now I had to explain the broken soap dispenser and skating rink over breakfast. Uggh. Gave everyone a good laugh and earned me the nickname “Hurricane Katrina”.